This is a review of "Let's Hear It For The B List Celebrities" recorded by Crimson Tide. The review was written by Suzie Mitchell in 2006.
I was somewhat bemused when I heard read the name of this band and wondered idly if they are aware that (thanks to the 1995 hit movie Clueless) the name of their band is in fact a euphemism for menstruation. After checking out their myspace it became apparent that they are probably completely aware of their pseudo faux pas and all thoughts of showing any kind of sensitivity towards this tosh went right out the window. Teenage boys sniggering and nudging each other when people talk about periods is not cool and shredded the last inch of respect I might have had for them picking up their gee-tars and having a bash.
First things first let us rip off the plaster in one fluid, quick and painful motion. The lead singer, Ben Flockton can not sing. At all. If I have to listen to kids from Beeston wishing they were American, it could at least be in tune so I can concentrate on what the hell they are shouting at me. The bassist Dave used to sing vocals, I say let him have a go as he certainly can’t do any more damage than his mate.
The songs aren’t totally terrible but they aren’t far off. In our current emo saturated times they are going to have do a lot better than this. The opening track Time To Sing has a pretty good intro, but 10 seconds in descends into the kind of screaming last heard in crappy horror film Hostel and like said “masterpiece”, it’s totally gratuitous. The rest of the song alternates between pointless shrieking and whiny lyrics. Who knows if the lyrics are any good as you can’t help playing spot the bum note, which incidentally is a game which keeps the listener pretty busy. The last 20 seconds of the song actually manage to approach something honest and heartfelt but I should think so too considering the raucous assault your ears have just experienced. (As their music is clearly written to offend, the band are likely to interpret this as a compliment – it is not.)
Watching Sunsets was a welcome surprise after the previous nonsense. It has occasional moments of sweetness and an overall emotive tone however without so much noise to distract you, the lead’s tuneless vocals are ever more apparent.
The title track Let’s Hear It For The B List Celebrities is more of the same screeching quasi American crap and due to the song title is possibly some sort of searing social comment on our celebrity obsessed times but in between squinting at the screaming and wincing every time someone missed a note I just didn’t have the energy to try and decipher them.
Silhouettes in the Sky is the last track on the EP and definitely the best of the 4. It has a dreamy feel and contains a hint of a melody but the wistful vocals sound ill at ease with the roaring guitars and ultimately like the rest of the of the tracks highlights a lack of experience, sensitivity and originality. Sorry Boys.