This is a review of "The Big Laugh Happy Happy Joy Joy Album" recorded by Bonsai Kittens. The review was written by Sam Saunders in 2004.
It sounds just like the cover: cuddly, playful, pert, sharp clawed and perfectly miniaturised. That's all you need to know about this six-tracked litter tray of feline droppings from the Bonsai Kittens. I won't mention the 4 second Satanic message at the beginning.
But I'll waffle on for a bit longer so you feel as though you've got your money's worth.
"Stop Whinging And Play Your Guitar" slaps your head with a crisp drum beat intro and shoves you into the bushes with a Pinky and Perky keyboard tune of Joe Meek wonderfulness. While you catch your breath, two smart Alec female voices insinuate chopped bollocks, PMT and arseholes into an otherwise mild mannered dig to the ribs of the two humourless pre-post-feminist musicians left on the planet. "I'm so oppressed I want to die" Yeh, satire! But it is funny. And the two part harmony is most engaging. There's a wonderfully neat instrumental episode too.
"Poor Johnny" is, and abuses, pop classical. Semi-spoken girlie vocals a la Shangri Las decorate that tune that got to number six in the Canadian charts for Pat Boone in July 1962 - the fabulous "Speedy Gonzales". It's about special offers and (probably) sex in the aisles, symbolically represented by Johnny getting "crushed". But I was laughing and jiggling about too much to listen carefully. A towering achievement.
"Let's All Go to Wakefield" is probably pushing things a bit. Children might be listening, for chrissake. There are some nifty guitar chords that I would like to learn, though. Something about cheese too. Edam I think.
"Consumed By Evil" manages to make a simple keyboard sound very scary and very funny at the same time. The seriously good bass line works a treat and there's a fabulous double lead guitar break that tinkles. It does. It tinkles. Maybe the voices take their subject matter a bit seriously? (It's something to do with death metal not necessarily making you want to kill your parents - obviously a contentious point of view among those of us who live in the suburbs with 14 year old sons.)
"Her Next Door" is about a bad person who lives next door. The singing has a Jennifer Saunders flatness about it. "Thanks for coming round to complain" it burbles. There's a certain insincerity that I can't quite put my finger on "We do appreciate your patience, or lack of it" they croon, sub melodically. Musical inventiveness surges through it and continues into the fabulous "Trev's Advice" in groovy groovy groovy John (Bad Boy) Shuttleworth territory This tune outdoes even JS's meisterwerk "Pigeons in Flight". Taking a stab at genre spotting, I'd say it was upbeat Bossa Nova/Perv Metal fusion.
And it ends on really great sounding wooden block whacks.
Who says two inventive, intelligent, funny women with access to computerised recording equipment and a deep love of pop music can't make bloody marvellous records? Ha! Not me. If Everett True discovers this stuff he's going to become unmanageable.