This is a review of "Crack Out Baby" recorded by Virginia Creep. The review was written by Danny Maher in 2006.
There was a time, years ago, when hulking behemoths stood astride the world we call ‘Rock!’ with their axes in hand and their lean bodies covered in garish spandex, tight fitting leather and tremendously outrageous haircuts. Oh yes my friends, there was a time when The Darkness would have been more than a bunch of darts loving pricks from Norfolk, a place where 5 minute solos on any instrument that comes to hand were not just acceptable but the law! Sometimes I pine for those heady days of poodle perms and 23-piece drum kits. However, those days are far behind us and guitar music has evolved into an altogether different beast. So why did Virginia Creep have to ruin my childhood memories of an entire musical era with this ode to Def Leppard as if covered by Northern Uproar pretending to be Nirvana. See, it doesn’t work on paper so how the hell is it gonna work on record!!!
First track, Crack Out Baby, is a tired sounding slug through the kind of territory covered years ago by the likes of Guns and Roses about 20 years ago. Only better. They’re obviously really proud of the guitar riff they blatantly nicked from Whitesnake because it’s repeated ad infinitum and the start of the chorus is vocally and musically far too close to Queen’s ‘I Want It All’ for comfort - come on boys you DON’T steal from Brian and Freddie!
I genuinely thought that the second track Round ‘N’ Round was an actual Def Leppard track when it kicked off. Unfortunately, it’s more like an album track from their latest offering ‘Yeah!’ Which is rubbish. The guitars try to achieve a Nirvana-esque intensity but end up plodding along a-la Mud Honey. This Cobain-ist rocking is all the more surprising considering they are influenced by the kinds of bands that Kurt was trying to destroy.
I’m sure that there is section of society (perhaps their Dad’s?) who would love going to see this band and reflecting on times when men were men and the best thing to do with a guitar was play a 15 minute solo then smash it through your Marshall stack. But not me. I’m happy with my memories of the land that time, taste and decency forgot and to be honest, if you’re gonna try and invoke the ghosts of music past you should at least come close to living up to their legacy.